Mark Twain -- "You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus."

Saturday, May 7, 2011

While you were watching TV.

That’s right, the Cowboys suck and the bachelorette is a slut. While you pinned the fate of your day, week; year on the success of a sports team, they raised the retirement age till after your dead. In all seriousness there are very real organizations that have been rapidly moving to bleed you dry, many of them moving to control every step of your life, as well as evil bastards that want you dead to claim the earth for themselves.

Its all very funny, its funny people care about things, because we all know that you gotta be a dumbass to have dumbass friends. Meanwhile the invisible no name depressed recession is the bread lines of 44 million and counting running a plastic food stamp card. The fraudclosure of millions of homes is the symptom of the government deregulating the investment hellhounds out to vacuum up as much physical assets from the civilized world before the value of the paper money completely evaporates in an effort to cover the incalculable gambling debts. We got feel good radio ads urging the public to protect their money in the banks, and the major TV networks are going broke because if the people aren’t turning off the nightly lies they live in a tent under the overpass. So now the only programming the networks can afford to produce is a clown with some idiots screaming out NO DEAL!

You go on thinking all is hunky-dory, everything is fine and this is America. It’s impossible to be under attack because you can clear a beer bong and bench-press your weight. The lies of society only exist and hurt you if you believe them to be lies. Believe unemployment is under 10% even though over 42 thousand factories have been mothballed since 2001, you chant U-S-A into a giant hole in the ground, and in the land of the brave 2 out 5 people receive government assistance, and in the home of the free businesses have to compete with Asian slave labor and your pot head buddy in a private prison making worthless plastic widgets.

Oh yea; that’s right, the Yankees are the evil empire. The steel curtain is in Pittsburg, Google’s electronic spy grid is in your phone, everything going to the bankers is free market, and a surveillance society with the government’s hands down your pants is freedom, its wholesome, its for your safety, and if you say otherwise you need to shut up, and go away, stop being a buzz kill or we got a government hole for you, AMERICA! FUCK YEA!

Simon Cowell is a prick and you get your news from John Stewart. The 21st century liberal collectivist want to burn Americana and the modern totalitarian conservatives want to bury lady liberty with chains. Then the masters of the universe go have a martini together joking about how clever they are and how stupid you are. While history has shown that in an economic upturn 95% of the job creation is in small business the messiah himself, Barrak Barry Soetero Obama who the pundits say his brilliant acts adverted a melt down into a road warrior scenario; has in fact pushed into motion a permanent mechanism to fill a mathematical blackhole with your money and assets. Ok so we all now know he is a Wall Street front man but it’s A-OK in your book now because he got up in front of everyone devoid of all emotion to read you a scripted narrative about some bearded guy who has been dead for 9 years. He doesn’t have to squirm setting the lies strait like his press secretary, but you wouldn’t know any different because youre drooling over some porn.

So none of this really matters because you’re a tough guy, a tough guy watching and screaming for naked men busting 69’s in the octagon. Fluorinated tap water is for your teeth, Government spending is for public welfare, GMO foods are for high yields, X-ray scanners are for your safety, the military defends our freedoms, Aspartame is for diet drinks, the police serve and protect, and big pharma will help restless leg syndrome as long as you don’t mind spraying the toilet bowl.

Everything is A-OK, youre getting drunk and looking cool, worshipping Hollywood, lusting over its stars when you’re not lusting over a friend. All of this is someone else’s fight, someone else’s responsibility and Chuck Norris is a bad ass. So do what you do, you enjoy being a chump, now plop your worthless ass on the couch, turn the boob tube on, and go to sleep little tike, because the big boys got work to do.

For those of you not sleeping, I respectfully salute you, but please, do not sit and save the zombies.


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