All American Chump.

So there you are sitting on your lawn chair in the grass watching your kid play soccer getting an allergic reaction from the fertilizer. It doesn’t matter much because they aren’t keeping score and everyone is special. So precious, and that’s why you will take the little tike to McDonalds for beef glue and preservative coated potatoes. The drive thru girl forgot your straws and shorted your change but you wouldn’t want to make a scene.

On the way to run errands the kids chuck their trash all over the floor but its ok because you would have to pay someone to take your crappy Dodge Neon. Now you’re afraid to tell them they are going to Costco. When you get there the kids bitch and on your way to the free tastings to appease the brats you nod or say sorry every time you make eye contact. At the tastings you’re afraid to take more than one sample to not get a sneer from another customer even though little Timmy is says he’s hungry. While mumbling about the McPoison he didn’t eat, with bug eyes on the way out you chant to yourself with a smile, “must look normal, must look normal”.

Ahhh, finally back home, you waddle to the couch with your jumbo bag of Doritos and turn TMZ on for the news that matters. You know life without trends is a life you wouldn’t want to live, a life better left to people in squallier. That is of course if dirty and trashy is trendy, then your all for it, and breaking out the pocket book for a mindless rag with the latest spring colors and 69 sex tips to please your man. This newest fad is a fantastic diddy where you chop off your own arms,…. Im not kidding,…. Where you chop your own arms and legs off and your lover carries you around in a box.

You always dreamed of being middle class with a white picket fence and in this system all you gotta do is sign the right papers. Buy a car, house, motorcycle and that Amish roll around fireplace under the pile of unread mail. Meanwhile there are loads of nonpaying jobs and creative projects that would be much more rewarding to your life and society as a whole, but you financed your ugly lazyboy to watch hours of nonsense everyday for a cash advance on your time at a soul sucking job.

You, in ancient Rome would make fun of the dude who sold himself into slavery to avoid taxation. You believed you had that wiping coming for disrespecting the Lord for falling asleep in the Catholic Church. You were that person pointing and laughing at the dude using his drinking water to wash himself during the plague. And how do I know this? I know this because you’re the person who laughs at people living in reality. The guy stocking up on guns and ammo is paranoid, the guy with storable food is a a nut in magic underwear, the guy with a garden is a fruit cake, the guy talking about issues is a dork and when he mentions the private Federal Reserve or puppet regimes your preprogramming tells you he has been hanging around the gun nut too long.

Today the standard American chump thinks themselves into peace, more or less images that there isn’t anything wrong, believe the world is wholesome, and because the fairly land lives in the mind it’s just that way. Well until the local football team loses. There isn’t anything wrong with the giant sucking sound we will all get rich flipping burgers. Our elected public servants care about us and that’s what the black ski masks and machineguns for the local police are for. War makes for great movies and you don’t mind new wars and expanded wars for corporate resources so as long as a black man says it’s ok. Then if youre one of those people that don’t like that black man youre likely looking to vote for a beauty pageant bimbo who will do the same.

The 1st shots of the 2nd American revolution we fired by the global elite against free humanity. So here we are in the time where free sentient sovereign human beings stand to fight for the way things are suppose to be. We the people will decide our fate. We have broken the echo chamber and will renounce the precedent that bureaucrats decide and nothing earth moving is going to be debated in public. For those of you still cowering, still spinelessly laughing reality away, still a marshmallow in front of the glow box, this is your last call, and don’t get in the way.

While you were watching TV.

That’s right, the Cowboys suck and the bachelorette is a slut. While you pinned the fate of your day, week; year on the success of a sports team, they raised the retirement age till after your dead. In all seriousness there are very real organizations that have been rapidly moving to bleed you dry, many of them moving to control every step of your life, as well as evil bastards that want you dead to claim the earth for themselves.

Its all very funny, its funny people care about things, because we all know that you gotta be a dumbass to have dumbass friends. Meanwhile the invisible no name depressed recession is the bread lines of 44 million and counting running a plastic food stamp card. The fraudclosure of millions of homes is the symptom of the government deregulating the investment hellhounds out to vacuum up as much physical assets from the civilized world before the value of the paper money completely evaporates in an effort to cover the incalculable gambling debts. We got feel good radio ads urging the public to protect their money in the banks, and the major TV networks are going broke because if the people aren’t turning off the nightly lies they live in a tent under the overpass. So now the only programming the networks can afford to produce is a clown with some idiots screaming out NO DEAL!


You go on thinking all is hunky-dory, everything is fine and this is America. It’s impossible to be under attack because you can clear a beer bong and bench-press your weight. The lies of society only exist and hurt you if you believe them to be lies. Believe unemployment is under 10% even though over 42 thousand factories have been mothballed since 2001, you chant U-S-A into a giant hole in the ground, and in the land of the brave 2 out 5 people receive government assistance, and in the home of the free businesses have to compete with Asian slave labor and your pot head buddy in a private prison making worthless plastic widgets.


Oh yea; that’s right, the Yankees are the evil empire. The steel curtain is in Pittsburg, Google’s electronic spy grid is in your phone, everything going to the bankers is free market, and a surveillance society with the government’s hands down your pants is freedom, its wholesome, its for your safety, and if you say otherwise you need to shut up, and go away, stop being a buzz kill or we got a government hole for you, AMERICA! FUCK YEA!

Simon Cowell is a prick and you get your news from John Stewart. The 21st century liberal collectivist want to burn Americana and the modern totalitarian conservatives want to bury lady liberty with chains. Then the masters of the universe go have a martini together joking about how clever they are and how stupid you are. While history has shown that in an economic upturn 95% of the job creation is in small business the messiah himself, Barrak Barry Soetero Obama who the pundits say his brilliant acts adverted a melt down into a road warrior scenario; has in fact pushed into motion a permanent mechanism to fill a mathematical blackhole with your money and assets. Ok so we all now know he is a Wall Street front man but it’s A-OK in your book now because he got up in front of everyone devoid of all emotion to read you a scripted narrative about some bearded guy who has been dead for 9 years. He doesn’t have to squirm setting the lies strait like his press secretary, but you wouldn’t know any different because youre drooling over some porn.


So none of this really matters because you’re a tough guy, a tough guy watching and screaming for naked men busting 69’s in the octagon. Fluorinated tap water is for your teeth, Government spending is for public welfare, GMO foods are for high yields, X-ray scanners are for your safety, the military defends our freedoms, Aspartame is for diet drinks, the police serve and protect, and big pharma will help restless leg syndrome as long as you don’t mind spraying the toilet bowl.

Everything is A-OK, youre getting drunk and looking cool, worshipping Hollywood, lusting over its stars when you’re not lusting over a friend. All of this is someone else’s fight, someone else’s responsibility and Chuck Norris is a bad ass. So do what you do, you enjoy being a chump, now plop your worthless ass on the couch, turn the boob tube on, and go to sleep little tike, because the big boys got work to do.


For those of you not sleeping, I respectfully salute you, but please, do not sit and save the zombies.